STORY:
Matt's Millennium Stew

Today's Millennium Stew --------
Martha Stewart, The Great Pyramids and Why Oh Y2K

by Matt Markovich
Everything2000 Stewmaster

So what is Martha Stewart doing on New Year's Eve...well staying at home of course. In her special New Year's Eve issue of Martha Stewart Entertaining, she says she will see the "millennium" at one of her homes, Skylands, the old Edsel Ford estate in Seal Harbor, Maine. She suggests that her readers also stay at home and entertain. Hence the magazine is full of festive suggestions for greeting the millennium the Martha Stewart way.

The magazine doesn't relate exactly what Martha will be doing to celebrate New Year's Eve 1999. However, she will be greeting the dawn of the year 2000 on top of Cadillac Mountain in Maine. There, at 7:04 a.m., the first rays of sunrise will be visible in the continental United States.

According to the Boston Globe, Martha being Martha, organized a trial run last New Year's Day and had the proceedings photographed for this magazine. But the mountain trail was too icy for her party to negotiate, so they had to settle for watching the sunrise from a rocky ledge overlooking Frenchman Bay.

Someone should let Martha - who is a know perfectionist - that the true millennium doesn't begin until 2001. Well of course, we could call this Martha's Millennium.

Now you too can experience New Year's Eve at the Great Pyramids. A change has been negotiated with the Egyptian Ministry of Culture permitting La Maison Francaise to sell up to 18,000 general admission tickets to the Jean-Michel Jarre Millennium Concert at the Giza Pyramids at greatly reduced prices to anyone.

Previously, only the Deluxe $400 tickets were available to non Egyptians and non-residents of Egypt. Through this new arrangement, tourists can purchase for $50 - online at www.y2kegypt.com - tickets for the 12 hour event which will feature a gold cap being place atop Cheops pyramid at midnight.

Some Deluxe tickets ($400) which include food and beverage service and access to 500 person tent facilities are still available, also from La Maison Francaise at www.y2kegypt.com.

In concept, it may rank up there with trying to push gun control at an NRA convention, but members of the New Millennium All-Star Band say marketing their new anti-technology single on the Internet makes perfect sense.

The country song, "Why Oh Y2K," salutes wells, firewood, gardens, cows and other means of self-sufficiency, and is available through an Internet web site (www.littleharpeth.com) that bypasses more costly traditional retail marketing channels.

"Sure, we appreciate the irony of marketing this song on the Internet," joked Puffy D., lead singer and spokesperson for the group, "but there's a certain cosmic symmetry to it, as well. "If we become fabulously wealthy using the very entity that threatens to destroy civilization as we know it, we'll feel that we've done our part to make our little corner of the world a better place. And, giving something back really is what it's all about, isn't it?"

"Why Oh Y2K" covers all the survival bases, touching on food, water, heat, self defense and even spiritual guidance ("I got me a mule down in the barn/I got us a milkin' cow/Now all I need is a Mennonite/To teach me how to plow").

DATE: 11/8/99

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